Our adoption match failed and Jesus is good.

We were matched early last month. 3 years of waiting and it had finally officially happend.

 I took those two photos the day we met our birthmom and were officially chosen. The first right before we met her, and the second one when we got home. We had just gotten home and W fell asleep in the car. I snuggled her in our bed and just cried with thankfulness that we were matched. The month of september went by extremely slow. I wanted to do so much prepping, but I held back just in case things didn't work out. I think this was the Lord protecting me from buying and preparing because our birthmoms due date came and went and no news. She hadn't reached out to our agency so we took this as a no. A couple weeks late we got the official word that she had decided to parent. Of course, we were devastated. I went very numb towards our adoption afterwards. I understood this was all the Lord's will and sovereignty, but I just couldn't let our adoption occupy my thoughts. I was confused and just broken. It was a sweet month of crying out to the Lord and depending on Him for joy and rest. I'm so thankful for the way the Lord drew me to himself and poured out such grace on me. He gave me constant reminders of his goodness, faithfulness, and love. There is so so so so soSOOOOOOOO much I have learned throughout this adoption journey spanning three years. One day I'm going to write it all out for my own memory. But goodness, it's made me fall more in love with Christ. Jesus, you are only ever good.

SO back to waiting we go. As much as he has called us to adoption, he has called us to this season of waiting. And I'm thankful for it. It's given me more of himself, and that is our greatest desire. Him. Him alone.

I will forever be thankful to have met this momma and prayed for her and her daughter. I love them both and pray rich blessings upon them. Thank you Lord for letting me met her. She is a beauty and one of the bravest women I've ever met.


1 comment:

Lauren said...

So I just kept reading on and I see that it didn't work out as planned....but your outlook on it all is so courageous. XOXO there is a plan....just you wait.