Fostering Kubs

 ^Right after we had our fingerprints taken in March.


I can't believe how much I've fallen behind in blogging. I'm currently posting and back dating blog posts from almost 7 months ago. It got a little out of hand. Then it just became way too overwhelming, and I almost gave up on this little blog. Abe's monthly updates are what kept this little blog hanging in there. This blog (how many more times can I say the word "blog") has always been a scrap book for me. It's where I keep our life documented for my kids to one day have and remind them of sweet memories we shared. I really don't think I can ever let it go, atleast not for now. So thank you Abe for being born and keeping this blog going. I mean, thanks for being born for many reasons, but obviously this little blog is the true purpose of your birth. (read: that is sarcasm)

I've kept my instagram pretty updated. It's like blogging on speed. It's so quick and easy to post and all my images are shared on my Chatbooks app which then automatically prints them into a book.  21st century, man. But, my kids LOVE the chatbooks and IG is so easy to post to that I often post big updates there, and then completely forget about this little corner of the web. So with that all being said and goodness that was a little bit much, we've changed our adoption route!

Way back when, like ages ago, like yesteryear and then some, we started this adoption journey. You can read all about it if you like at the tab above appropriately titled "adoption journey". 6 years we've been in the adoption process through an agency. We were on waiting lists and then paused and then waiting and then a failed match and then paused again.  All the while the Lord was slowly changing and convicting our hearts on Foster Care. We weren't opposed to it by any means, but we really just thought it would be something we pursued once our kids were older and grown. Right before we were matched with our birthmother, Josh and I had a very spur the moment conversation in the back yard of a friend's home right after we had helped them move in. He approached me about ending our time at the agency and pursuing fostering. Unbeknownst to him, I had been praying over fostering for months. I kept wanting to tell him my heart had changed, but I wanted the Lord to do the same work in his heart as He was doing in mine. So for months, I just prayed and waited on the Lord. Then on that humid sticky day, after he had just moved a massive table to their backyard, he sat me down and purposed this idea. I couldn't help but laugh and tell him all that had transpired in my heart the past few months. We decided right there that we would pursue fostering. Well, a month later, we were matched with our birthmom and learned we were pregnant all on the same morning. I was confused why the Lord did all that work on us and had lead us to fostering, but we moved forward with the adoption. Sadly but in the Lord's will, our birthmom decided to parent, and then we were paused with our agency because of my pregnancy with Abe. When he turned 6 months old, it was a no brainer that we would pursue fostering. It was very bittersweet to say goodbye to the agency we had been with for so long and invested so much money in. Walking away would mean losing thousands of dollars we fundraised and paid for. THAT WAS HARD. But still, the Lord told us fostering. We know he had us at the agency so we could meet that birthmom and forever pray over her. I still think of her often. We know He can use those funds we invested to help other families adopting through them and cover hospital bills for their birthmoms. It's extremely humbling to let go and trust in the Lord when other people personally invested in your adoption. But still we trust.

 ^During our weekend long training sessions.

So, the day before Josh's birthday, on the 27th of February 2018, I emailed the state and applied to be foster parents. Four days later on March 3rd, we met our social worker and had our orientation. Three days after, that we had our fingerprints and background checks completed. Then at the end of March, we completed all of our training over a weekend. We started our homestudy in April and used that month to make some needed improvements to Abe's room so that we could set up another crib in there. We completed our homestudy late May and received our activation email June 5th!

And now, the real waiting begins. We are foster/foster to adopt parents. We can't wait for this journey to start. I feel like we are standing at the front of massive stone floodgates knowing that at any second they are going to burst open and flood our lives with all sorts of terrifying goodness and heartache and happiness and trusting in the Lord like never before. It's weird to be standing on this side of the gates knowing what's coming and then also not knowing at all. Like Michael Scott infamously states, "And I knew exactly what to do but in a much more real sense I had no idea what to do". That is the mantra of my life right now haha.

I've shared more details on our fostering journey and how to become a foster parent on a highlight reel on my IG. It's located on my profile. If you're are curious about the steps taken to become a foster parent, you can learn more there.

Novel completed.  I guess that's what I get for waiting months to update. You're a real tropper if you hung in there and read that in its entirety.  I won't be sharing much detail of our foster kubs journeys publicly. Simply because their story is not mine to tell, but I will share court dates and such to rally for prayer. Please join us in praying for our future kubs and their birth families. Our desire is to love on those birthparents as much as possible.

The Kubler Homestead

We bought a new house!

Wow, that was not something I thought I would be saying this year! We weren't seriously looking, but we would browse homes that popped up on Zillow. We knew we wanted to move sometime in the near future, but we just didn't think it would be this year.

Our biggest priorities were 1. Space for Josh's mom and 2. Space for our church. When this house popped up on Zillow, Josh immediately saw it. We went to look at it the next day and immediately fell in LOVE. The red barn is the perfect space for Josh's mom to renovate, and it came with some land that we knew we could use for ministry. It had character we always dreamed of and a beautiful pond.

We quickly put an offer on the home and wrote a letter to the owners explaining our situation. And all Glory to God, they chose us! We were FLOORED that is happened. We just surely thought this was all too good to be true. The Lord opened SO many doors in order for us to get this home. It is only by his doing that we could buy it. I'll forever stand amazed that He blessed us with this home. We are so undeserving but so grateful!

It has a lot that needs fixed up, but we have the rest of our lives to tackle those projects. I can't wait to raise our babies here.
 
 
 

Potty Training C

 recording this all for my own memory. Potty trained him last month at exactly 2.5 years old. Took a good month for it to really click.

I think I can say potty training has been one of the hardest milestones/parenting/disciplines I've yet to experience with motherhood. For all those that have an easy go, God Bless you. For all those who were in the trenches battling your sanity, God bless you all the more. You deserve cookies. all the cookies. We, unfortunately, were the latter.

We had been debating when to potty train C. I was desperately over both kiddos being in diapers, but I didn't want to rush C when he wasn't ready. For a few weeks he had started talking about the potty. We would randomly ask him if he wanted to use it to which he always responded "nooooo". Then one night, he told husband he wanted to use the potty. And he did. And we praised the mess out of him and he thought he was the stuff.  Over the next few days he showed real interest in the potty, so we decided it was time.

On a Monday in April, I set up our bathroom as a "Potty Training Quarantine". Complete with toys, a tv, chair, towels, books, salty snacks, lots of juice, and a phone charger. He woke up that morning and first thing we did was put on underwear and go to the potty. That day he had about two accidents. I offered juice constantly and we made about nine bajillion trips to the bathroom. When he would start to pee in underwear, he would freeze or call out and we'd rush to the potty. Day one was a success in my book. day two went pretty much the same way. A few pee accidents but it was kind of clicking. He really didn't want to poop in the potty and had a poop accident I believe, but again normal. On the third day, we went to visit friends in a hospital. We were terrified he would have an accident but he didn't. whoop whoop! The rest of that week he did pretty well. He seemed to have peeing down, pooping was just much harder for him to get. He would poop in the potty when we made him, but he never told us when he needed to go and he had multiple accidents. A new week came, and he seemed to be getting it. Yet another week came, and it all went down hill. He started having accident after accident both peeing and pooping. It's like all of the sudden he was regressing. And man that was tough on this momma. I finally decided I would wave the white flag and just go back to diapers. He must not really be ready I thought. We will try again in a few months. I don't want to force him. and the next day (earlier this week) the kid up and decided he would be potty trained. No accidents for days. Constantly telling us when he needed to pee and poop. It was an answer from heaven.

This is such an abbreviated version, but I really just wanted to record this for my future kiddos and to encourage any mommas in the potty training trenches. You can do it!

I know, I know, but I just had to...

Consider this my weekly "The Way I See You" post... which will hopefully resume soon!

I 100% realize that posts consumed with C's adorable little face are probably only intriguing to me, the husband, and the grandparents, but I just can't help it. ESPECIALLY  now that he has cut not one but FOUR top front teeth, I had to document that partial gummy smile one last time. If you aren't a momma your probably thinking "chill out women, it's just teeth. seriously"and then if you are a momma you're probably all like "oh em gee, I remember when my kids had gummy smiles, document the crap out of that because it fades so quickly" I hear you mommas, I hear you.

Happy Friday Darlings. Cheers to the weeeeekend!

He's going, going, gone {C video}

Ladies and Gentlemen. My son is now a crawler. My sweet little cuddling baby has morphed into a curious, wobbly, chapped knee little boy. Big parts of me are sad the newborn baby stage is gone, but even bigger parts of me LOVE this new exploration stage. So, here's to no more sitting him down and coming back to him in the same place. Commence finding ways to block him into the living room. I'm seeing massive pillow walls, chair forts, and toy blockades coming soon. Helpful tips?

I took these videos on Tuesday, May 28th on my iphone. He did his first little wobble on Monday, but I'm not sure it counted as a full out crawl. It's the cutest little wobbly thing I've ever done see. As always, excuse my over excited baby voice.


and because this video has to do with mobile babies...i guess: can't decided if it's just adorable or just the creepiest thing ever. The little black boy in the denim shirt makes my heart melt somehow. Whatdayathink?


oh, and I failed to mention that he started pulling up on things yesterday! Seems so early to me, right? I mean, I looked over yesterday, and he was pulling up on our coffee table in a crouching/squatting position... slow down kid!!!

*linking up to Just Because

teaching him joy. and our weekend.

As we speak or as I type if you want to get all literal, C is fighting his nap. Little boy is teething like there's no tomorrow. Not kidding folks. Snot, buggers, drool, slight fever, messy diapers... you know, the works. Two sweet teeth have made their appearance in the last two weeks. I've heard nightmares about kids teething. How it's stressful and the worst experience ever. I'm determine for that to not be our case.

Don't get me wrong, I know it will down right suck for him and painful for that matter, but I plan to try to still do fun things with him. So far, watching Finn play outside, Puffs, bath time, frozen bananas, and walks seem to distract him from the pain. So that's what we are doing. And a lot of it. Oh and baby Tylenol, because let's get real... none of those other remedies (tablets, gel, etc) are cutting it. When the times get real hard for him... Tylenol it is. #don'ttellmetheharminiti'vedonemyresearchthankyou

We went to the park last week. It was a hard day for C teething wise, and I knew the poor kid just needed some good ole fun. He wasn't fussy a single moment we were there. This whole teething process has been a doozy (read: days spent with both of us in pjs and dinner from subway bc we are both just down right exhausted. cook dinner? ain't no body got time for that), but I'm determined that it won't still our joy. I'm determined not to get frustrated or stressed with the situation. It's a phase, a quickly fading phase. Before I know it, the kid will have a mouth full of teeth. I'm going to enjoy each little tooth that pops up and try to cope with the cries, screams, snot that come along with it. Bc I think that's what being his mom is going to be all about. Teaching him that even in the hard times, we can have joy. Yes, happiness in earthly things, too, but more importantly in the true joy that Jesus brings.

So, here's to a day of fighting teething with an absurd amount of things that make him happy. Today that includes riding shotgun in the shopping cart and spending the evening outside with friends. It's going to be perfection.

oh, and this weekend husband and I went on a date night. Hasn't happened sans C in way tooo long:) It was splendid. seriously wonderful:)

fun fact: I had to google 6 words to make sure I was spelling them right. I was not...

lovely trees and dada : a weekend recap

I don't know the exact name of these trees. Cherry something or other. But, I do know they are the most beautiful trees. I told husband that we WILL have these planted in our back yard. That is if my sweet father in law will supply them. He owns a nursery. It's awesomesauce.

Saturday while I was out shooting a session, husband sent me this pic below. I need to discuss two things about it:

1. I really gotta teach the husband the importance of actually working for a good shot. He just points, clicks, and is done with it. Not sure the man even looks at the phone to see what he is capturing. Come one husband. At least get something in focus. That man, I love him. Faults and all.

2. Those two stinks are the best of friends. I know I say that a lot (okay a lot a lot) but they really are. Husband said they laid like this for a good while. Finn is so good with C it amazes me.

Finally,  over the weekend, Friday to be exact, C learned how to say DADA. He'd done it before but it was more or less an accident. This weekend he figured it out full force and the boy hasn't stopped saying it since. In the middle of the night, during dinner, during bath time, during feeding time, all. the. time.

Ignore the horrible quality of this video and the zero editing done. Iphones take wonderful photos& offer so many editing apps but I wish there were more video editing apps. Maybe there are... help a sista out if you know of some!

I'm not ready for this

 

you guys. It happened.

Over the weekend, little boy cut his first tooth. I realized it Sunday night at community group and almost had a total meltdown right then and there. He's been so cranky this weekend, but I didn't even consider teething.

You see, I'm head over heels obsessed with that gummy smile. It's in the top 5 of my favorite things about having a baby. It melts my heart every time and makes my ovaries do flips. No. joke. 

I held myself together, but once we got home, the waterworks happened. I'm so not ready for this little boy to grow up. So. not. ready. His tooth hasn't even shown it's little white self yet, but I'm already grieving the loss of that gummy smile. You mommas out there know what I'm talking about. 

Next thing I know, this kid will be getting his first car. Shoot me in the foot.

I told husband that I'm going to be taking nine million more pictures of that gummy smile  (he said how is that any different from what you do already... sheesh) while I still can. Thus explains those horrible lighting, blurry, fuzzy iphone pics above. I don't even care. I love each and every one. 

So far, sliced apples, carrots, warm baths, finn window watching, and cold rags are getting us through. Tylenol is given every now and then when he is super fussy. Moms out there... tips or tricks to get him through? 

I'm off to Google how to keep a baby a baby forever. Surely someone out there has figured it out.